i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
