I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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