I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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