Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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