i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
