There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
