You just made me feel so damn special
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
