I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
