I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
