Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
