I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
