when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
