4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize