I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
