i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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