She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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