Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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