Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
