i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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