there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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