I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
vagina is talking i cant
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
