sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
