i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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