Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
