So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
