marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
