he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
