HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Ketchup is God's man juice
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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