I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
