if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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