If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
