I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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