Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
