he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
me + whiskey = a bad person
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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