yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
