i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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