I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
