I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
