never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
