I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
