Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
How's work?
Spinning.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
