Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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