you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My pussy is not your playground.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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