called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
