Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
