i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
