i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
