he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
