Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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