Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize