...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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