So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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