He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
