My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
