12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
