Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
