So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
