Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
