I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
