There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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