found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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