just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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