PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
thus making me awesome and them whores
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize