I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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